Mistletoe Crisis
[Scene opens to a noisy, bustling classroom. Class is about to begin. A group of three friends are chatting animatedly. Two girls sit next to each other in the desks and a boy is sitting on top of the desk in front of them. The teacher is nowhere in sight. The boy suddenly claps his hands as if realizing something important. In the background, another boy is sitting in front of SAM. Several girls are scattered; most are chatting in pairs. A couple of boys are sitting in the corner of the room.]
SAM
I can’t believe I forgot! [stares up at ceiling]
LEAH and ANNA
Forgot what? – What’d you forget? [overlapping]
SAM
[gestures as he talks] It’s my tradition but – um – every year, the day before Christmas break, I would bring a mistletoe. Man, back at
ANNA
[interrupts] So what’s the tradition?
SAM
Oh! Right… Well, I’d bring a mistletoe to school and in every class, I put it on top of every girl’s head and I’d kiss her on the cheek!
LEAH
Wouldn’t that take a while?
SAM
No! See? [gets up and proceeds to pretend to put mistletoe on top of every girl’s head and kiss her on the cheek. He causes a few girls to stare in his direction]
LEAH
Wow… [watches in fascination]
ANNA
Wow is right. [laughs] I can’t believe he’s actually doing that… [puts hand over mouth to cover laughter]
LEAH
At least Mr. Hiller isn’t here yet. [SAM is still going through with his demonstration but doesn’t see that one is male.]
[Classroom door slams open and MR. HILLER comes in, stops, and stares at SAM.]
MR. HILLER
Sam! What are you doing? [startles SAM into actually kissing ADAM, a classmate and friend, on the cheek.]
SAM
[looks up, red faced] U-Uh…
ADAM
[smirks and crosses arms] He’s going.
MR. HILLER
[walks over to desk] Going? Going where?
SAM
Back to my desk!
[The rest of the class is laughing in the background as SAM scrambles over to his desk, red as can be while ADAM is unfazed.]
ANNA
[turns to LEAH] I can’t believe that happened!
LEAH
[giggles] I know!
MR. HILLER
Right, class is starting so [puts notes on overhead] sit in your seats and be quiet.
[Throughout the class, SAM is casting ADAM red-faced stares and questionable glances. MR. HILLER catches SAM as he casts a stare.]
MR. HILLER
[surveys classroom and double-takes in SAM’s direction] Sam! What are you doing?
SAM
E-Er…
MR. HILLER
I hope you aren’t staring at Adam.
[The class erupts into laughter as SAM sinks into his desk. ADAM, again, looks unfazed but shows signs of distress. Scene slowly fades away and the class ends. SAM hurriedly throws everything on his desk into his backpack and tries to rush out. ADAM, however, catches up with him.]
ADAM
[grabs SAM’s sleeve] Hey Sam!
SAM
[stops and turns around to face ADAM, filled with dread] Yeah?
[ANNA and LEAH past by, giggling.]
ADAM
I was wondering if I could talk to you. [sees LEAH and ANNA] Privately.
SAM
[confused look] Yeah, sure.
[Both SAM and ADAM go into the back of the room. MR. HILLER glances in their direction knowingly, grabs a large file, and leaves. The rest of the class slowly file out without glances in their direction.]
[SAM and ADAM stand. ADAM looks determined but is wringing his hands.]
SAM
So… [slowly slides into desk] What do you need?
ADAM
[still standing] Did you mean it?
SAM
[confused] Mean what?
ADAM
[gestures] You know!
SAM
[shakes head] No I don’t. What do you mean?
ADAM
[frustrated, takes deep breath and starts again slowly] Sam… You’ve been my friend for--
SAM
Three months. [nods]
ADAM
Right. We’ve hung out for three months – has it really only been three months? It seemed longer…
SAM
[exasperated] Get to the point, Adam.
ADAM
Right, well I’d like you to know this… [starts pacing]
SAM
Adam… What are you –
ADAM
I’m gay. [looks at floor]
SAM
[makes “O” mouth] Oh… Well… I saw that coming.
ADAM
Wait, you did? [stops pacing and stares at SAM]
SAM
Sure, everyone in the class knew. [shrugs]
ADAM
[runs hand through hair] Everyone in the class knew?
SAM
[nod] Yep, it was kind of obvious. [crosses arm]
ADAM
[speechless] Are you kidding me…? [paces again]
SAM
Hey, Adam?
ADAM
[ignores] Sam, there is still something else I need to tell you.
SAM
Go on. [gestures]
ADAM
There’s this… guy I’ve liked for years…
SAM
A guy?
ADAM
[stops pacing and stares at SAM]
SAM
Right! A guy! [awkward]
ADAM
Well, he’s kind of… oblivious…
SAM
Oblivious how?
ADAM
[Runs hand through hair again] I like him…but… he’s not…
SAM
Gay?
ADAM
Yep.
SAM
Must suck.
ADAM
It does. And there’s another guy I like too…
SAM
You like two guys?
ADAM
Am I not allowed to?
SAM
Sure, why not? Do I know him?
ADAM
[unsure] Well… I don’t know… I think so…
SAM
Is it hard?
ADAM
What is?
SAM
You know. To like a guy.
ADAM
Sometimes. [slides into desk next to SAM]
SAM
Especially since you don’t now…
ADAM
Do you think I should tell him?
SAM
Adam. You’ve been my best friend since I’ve been here. I know you. Go for it.
ADAM
Alright. [deep breath and slowly says] I like you.
SAM
[taken back] Adam… You know I’m not gay.
ADAM
[stares] What are you talking about? I’m only practicing.
SAM
[funny glance and tilts head] You’re okay though?
ADAM
[laughs] Of course. Why wouldn’t I be?
SAM
Well, we should go.
ADAM
Alright. [grabs bag and gets up to leave]
SAM
[follows ADAM to door]
ADAM
[stops suddenly] Hey Sam?
SAM
Yeah?
ADAM
Thanks. [disappears off stage]
SAM
[confused] Wha--? Adam! Thanks for what? [disappears from view but voice can be heard] Hey Adam!
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