Changed Vision
blurred
fog
every movement
jumps, moves, blinks
unclear, opaque
it blends together
Until now.
Clear
Precise lines
come together
to show
Depth
Shades
Shadows
Color…
I can see
> What does it need?
> Should I add more?
> What descriptions should I add?
4 comments:
i LOVE the flow and sharp language. definitely illustrates change. my favorite was probably the last line-- gorgeous.
I think there should be a period after "Until now". Because that way it would show how the "blurred" vision was before the "clear". Really like how cut it is but still makes sense and paints a picture in the readers mind.
oh my goodness.
i like this a WHOLE lot!
maybe you'd try to find a different word, instead of using both 'precision' and 'precise.' just to be wordy. =]
THE LAST LINE GAVE ME SHIVERS. HOLY COW.
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